rebirth

I've had two blogs before this. Deleted both of them before they even hit 100 posts so I really wonder how long this one will last. A sudden urge hit me to create another blog. Maybe it's the fact that I have a long holiday ahead of me which bound to be filled with lots of reflection and soul-searching coupled with some lonely feelings with everyone busy with their own lives. It's funny how people can get close throughout the whole school term, only to drift apart when the holidays come crashing through. Isn't the holidays a time to hang out and have fun together like we never had during the school term? Seems like it's the contrary.

I'm going to keep this blog a secret. Until I decide to divulge this massive secret to the honourable selected few. I hate people reading into my inner thoughts and emotions and yet there's this 'rebellious' streak in me wanting to get out to the whole world and shout "here's what i'm all about!" But I've learnt from experience that it isn't always the smartest thing to do because people can't be trusted. Well, most people can't be.. or maybe they can be, just not as much as I'd like them to be. Or maybe it's just me and my paranoia. The mind can play tricks on you whenever you feel vulnerable. I do feel vulnerable and uneasy letting people in.

Wow, I've really managed to make this blog an emo one. I admit, I never blog unless it's something emo and miserable. Hopefully I don't have to blog for a long time to come but for now, it seems like it's gonna be a long holiday ahead of me filled with me, myself and I, alone, thinking about what could have been and what should have been.